DanLand

Joss Whedon and NPR. Together again.

Fri, 08 May 2009 08:28:32 GMT

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/Radio_Episode.aspx?episode=379

Starts about 27:30

Joss singing live.

Apple Design

Mon, 30 Mar 2009 21:52:39 GMT

From a review.

...the Mac Pro’s beautifully designed interiors make connecting to these ports in a way that would not hamper airflow next to impossible.

And the capons go marching along

Wed, 04 Mar 2009 08:23:01 GMT

Would you believe there is only one Google hit for "capons go marching along"*? That is so sad.

I love to imagine soldier chickens marching down a dusty road?

What do your soldier chickens look like?

Irregardless

Thu, 12 Feb 2009 23:38:05 GMT

Contrary to what some people believe, irregardless is a perfectly useful word. Those who choose not to look beyond meaning insist that irregardless and regardless are the same. Those of us who appreciate beauty and flow in our language disagree. The word irregardless allows the orator to ease into a sentence. It can make the spoken word flow more easily; give the listener more warning of the thoughts to come.

At least to my ear, regardless of what others might think.

To use the new CMOS features, you must enable javascript in your browser.

Mon, 26 Jan 2009 22:22:17 GMT

From the Chicago Manual Of Style web site.

But funny, nonetheless.

...

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 07:55:40 GMT

God help us all (it gets interesting about 3:25)

Talking like an Indian

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 19:17:19 GMT

I just said, while performing phone support, "It depends on what version of the Palm you are having."

I don't quite know what to make of that.

Dan

Happy Vid

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 06:17:25 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3KIk0yyQ48

I love it when cultures seamlessly combine

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 07:44:30 GMT

I found this image while browsing Improv Everywhere. It is from this year's pantsless subway ride.

This is the America I love.

Not enough ants

Sun, 08 Jun 2008 01:50:37 GMT

Two days ago I found six ants in my bathroom. Three in the morning, and three in the evening.

Yesterday I found five. Three in the morning, and two in the evening.

Today I only found one; that is still one too many. But it is about twenty too few to figure out where they are coming from and KILL THEM ALL.

I do not share my home with bugs.

The inverse of my verse, a null domain.

Sun, 02 Dec 2007 06:25:37 GMT

math poetry is cool

Help me pick a class or two

Tue, 07 Aug 2007 18:15:23 GMT

I'm thinking about going back to school. As a person who flunked out of college (and is strangely proud of the fact) this is a slightly terrifying concept.

I really hate failure and last time I tried playing in the educational pool I failed pretty spectacularly.

Would any of you be willing to help me pick a class or two that would be both edifying and I would be likely to succeed at?

I have a low tolerance for bull and a tendency to be an arrogant prat. This makes me hated by a lot of professors. I would do better in a class taught by a forgiving soul.

Take a look at http://continuingstudies.stanford.edu/course/department.asp and see if there are any classes you think would suit me.

I'm thinking about Fundamentals of Acting I (DRA 02) http://continuingstudies.stanford.edu/course/DRA02.asp taught by Kay Kostopoulos. Anyone taken her classes?

There is a class on Nabakov taught by Mary Petrusewicz that looks interesting.

A class on statistics by Michael Walker could be fun.

In fact there are a whole bunch of classes that appeal. Wanna help me pick a couple?

Dan

Error Preventoni Guide

Wed, 02 May 2007 21:42:05 GMT

I'm setting up a HP ML370 ($10k of server love.) One of the options on the documentation CD is "Error Preventoni Guide"

I like imagining a tech writer chuckling while hitting the "Ignore all" button on the spell checker.

:-)

POP TOP overflow

Tue, 16 Jan 2007 22:04:43 GMT

Reading LJ and Facebook today, for the first time in a while, while surfing IDS logs.

Found a POP TOP Overflow attempt. Something about that amuses me. Since I am already in LJ I shall post it.

I still intend to blog about the GC trip but I have been far too busy living lately and am not terribly interested in sitting in front of a computer whilst I am not being paid.

A change that relates to the GC trip making this whole line of thought somewhat incestuous.

Dan

Boxing Day

Sat, 30 Dec 2006 02:31:32 GMT

Got to sleep in. That was nice. I woke up before the boys and headed over to Grace and Jenn's room. They were not there so I headed off to the restaurant. I joined them and ordered the same granola breakfast that they were having. We had seen some other people having it the morning of the twenty-third. Lots of blueberries. Jenn and Grace both had there's with soy milk but I opted for genuine cow squeezings. It was yummy. After more than a week of huge meals it was relaxing to eat light.

After breakfast we headed over to the Hopi House. An impressive name but it is just a gift shop. An hour in the gift shop and we were late for checkout. We rushed back to the hotel and hurriedly checked out. Or Grace checked us out. The rest of us just finished up packing.

Grace wanted to hit a couple more gift shops so Jenn and I went for a drive. We stopped at the Tusayan ruins then headed back only slightly late.

The drive to Phoenix was uneventful. I rode with Jenn and Jonathan. I dozed while they listened to the soundtrack from A Mighty Wind then some Tom Lehrer. I was reminded that my tolerance for satire has diminished over time. I find much of it a little mean spirited. I still laugh, especially at the spot on folk cliches, but I feel a little heavy afterwards.

Jenn's parents were the very model of gracefulness, again. They even had Christmas stockings and presents for all of us. Coincidentally I was just reading an interview with the South Park creators where Trey Parker put my thoughts better than I can myself.

I’ve been fascinated with the Mormons for a long time. They are the nicest people in the world. If a religion’s going to take over the world, and the one that really believes “just be super nice to everyone” takes over, that’s all right with me. Even if it’s all bullshit, that’s OK.

My beliefs may be different but I respect their culture a lot. As I wrote this I am eating the pistachios and candy they gave me and wearing the hat Jenn made. All in all it is a lovely way to spend an evening.

Helping someone selflessly today will go a very long way tomorrow.

Thu, 28 Dec 2006 05:49:46 GMT

My horoscope from Astrology.Com

Helping someone selflessly today will go a very long way tomorrow. You would be wise to put some good deeds in your karma account right now, because you will need a bit of help soon. People like to help people who've helped them, and someone you help today will remember you when the time comes. This isn't something to be worried about; just keep generosity and reciprocity in the front of your mind today, and do for others what you hope they would do for you.

I tend to read my horoscope, on the rare occasions when I read them at all, a day late. That way I can look back and see how accurate they were. I know the human mind can create patterns out of anything but I figure that by looking backwards I have a better chance of determining whether a particular source of horoscope is accurate. Mine tend to me pretty good. As long as you reverse them. Some day I will get one that reads "Don't even bother getting out of bed. The universe is conspiring against you." On that day I am buying a lottery ticket.

Today's horoscope was not as prescient as many. But I certainly did rely on the kindness of friends today.

Today's saga properly begins two days ago on the south rim of the Grand Canyon. At least I think it was two days ago. Time is a blur these days.

I was still feeling the effects of the hike out of the Canyon and was in no mood to pack. Maybe if I had not had the whole barefoot walk to the gift shop I would have been more responsible, but I wasn't in the mood. I crammed my stuff into the suitcase and left. I had some sort of vague idea that I could repack at the Wheelwright's but that was a unformed notion.

Repack at the Wheelwright's? Who was I kidding? I did consciously think about getting my wallet, keys, and cell phone out of the suitcase so I could carry them on the plane. I really did think about it. I wish I could say it slipped my mind but it was a conscious decision to just leave them in the checked bag. You see where this is going don't you. I would love to say that I have confidence in the airline's ability to get you and your baggage to the same place at the same time, but I don't. I know better. I would like to say I have good luggage karma, but I don't. I seldom fly but I have had my bags delayed before and I regularly have other people take my luggage from the carousel. The truth is I couldn't remember where I had stashed my keys and I totally forgot about the cell phone.

I had nothing on the plane with me but my driver's license, two credit cards, and a little cash. No keys, no phone. Nada. I checked everything.

It was only after I arrived in San Jose that I really thought about how to get home. Thankfully Jenn offered a ride from her sister. In retrospect I wish I hadn't asked if anyone could give me a ride. I hope it wasn't too far out of her way. I am grateful. I hope I can repay the favor. This is the first time the horoscope rears its ugly head. A fine example of needing some karma I hadn't earned. Jenn waited while I waited for my bag and let me use her cell phone. Thanks Jenn. Did I mention the bag never showed up? You probably figured that one out on your own.

Normally breaking into my house is pretty easy. I like fresh air so I leave windows open. It stormed a couple days before I left so this time I closed all the windows. Tight. No breaking in for Dan. I borrowed a screwdriver from a neighbor and managed to get in to a window. Home at last.

The first thing I did when I got home was check that the water dish in the shower was fresh. Last time I traveled I think my grey kitty could not reach the big water dish. She sure drank a lot when I refilled the little dish for her.

The water dish was not fresh. In fact the bathroom was not fresh. Some time while I was gone the sewer backed up and the tub and bathroom floor were covered with raw sewage. Thick, solid, and brown raw sewage. Welcome home Dan!

My thoughts immediately went to the kitties. There were no footprints in the yuckiness so I am hoping they didn't try to get into it. The little water dish had a quarter inch of gross water so they were not completely parched but it couldn't have been healthy. the grey kitty was on the sofa but I couldn't find my Buster. I had seen him through the window while I was trying to break in so i knew he was alive but I couldn't find him. I called him and he didn't come. OK, now the panic starts. Buster always comes when he is called. Eventually I found him cowering under the futon. I don't know what was going on in his little kitty head but whatever it was was not fun. He didn't even seem to want to sniff me. It took him a good twenty minutes to warm up to me. Both kitties are on my feet as I write this but they are both going to go into the vet. I can't tell if they are acting odd because they were left or because they are sick. They were due for a healthy cat check anyway.

I cleaned the bathroom. The drain was clogged but a quart of bleach and plenty of water got it running again. I bleached everything in sight. I used a solution way too concentrated to be safe and let sit for about half an hour. Man was it gross.

I don't have a land line so I needed a phone to track down my bag. That shouldn't be a problem, I have plenty of clients where I can show up and ask a favor without any fuss. I just had to find my spare car key. The spare key is in the car. Normally that is a good thing since I have a credit card key in my wallet. They credit card key won't start the ignition but it will get me in to where the real key is. That would work well if my wallet weren't in the missing bag.

I checked email and Grace offered the use of an old Sprint phone. I have Sprint too so I can just put my number on her old phone. Grace rocks.

Time for plan... G? I pinged a few friends to see if any of them were online. If they were I could have had them phone SouthWest to see what was up with my bag. No one was available.

Without a friend that I feel comfortable imposing on handy I borrowed a phone from the neighbors. Here is another one of those unearned karma moments. My neighbors are really nice. I don't appreciate them enough. I tried calling SouthWest four times. The first three times I got a busy signal but the fourth time I got through, to a voicemail, that was full. Sigh. Since my cell phone was in the luggage I asked SouthWest to call a voicemail I know how to check. I have never checked my cell phone voicemail from a land line. No messages there.

I called GEICO and they sent out a towtruck top open the car for me. The dude was really good. I have never seen a guy open a car so fast.

My nice neighbors not only offered me the use of their son's cell phone until I got mine back but offered to drive me to SF if I was going to use one of Grace's. Like I said. Nice folk.

Not wanting to impose on innocents any more than I had to, this was after all clearly my fault, I decided to try Skype for my phone needs. It worked. Worked well in fact. It took four tries to get into my cell phone voicemail but there was a message that they had my bag! Yippee! I called SouthWest again and got through on the second try. A real live person asked me to hold. After 15 minutes she came back and asked me to hold again. It was only 15 minutes more before a person actually talked to me. Forty minutes and forty-two seconds later they had promised to have my bag to me in twenty minutes. Since the airport is thirty minutes away I didn't believe them but I take any progress I can get. After a little clarification they promised to deliver it between 7:30 and 11:30 tonight. It is now twelve hours and fifty-two minutes since I reported it missing and I am still waiting but I am waiting optimistically.

What more can a boy ask for.

The Grand Canyon Adventure

Thu, 28 Dec 2006 04:09:50 GMT

I'm almost settled in from the big Grand Canyon trip. I think that it may have been a genuinely life changing event. I'm not sure yet. While I was there I spent a fair amount of time alone just thinking and in my internal monolog I found myself wanting to blog about my thoughts and experiences.

In general I find I want to blog more than I do. Usually I want to have some record of what I was thinking at a particular time. Hindsight is not necessarily 20/20, Neisser & Harsch's shuttle disaster study always comes to my mind. I would like to have something solid to point back to and say "See. I did predict this. I was right."

There are two things keeping me from blogging as I want to. First and foremost. I can't type worth a darn. You'd think a guy who makes his living with computers would learn to type. In my case you would be wrong. I also tried being a police officer with my legendary ability to forget specific bit of information. Especially names. Self sabotaging? Me? Never :-/ Then there is my remarkable ability to forget things. I remember thinking about all sorts of stuff to write about in the Canyon but now I am just drawing blanks.

I'm going to try writing in reverse chronological order. That way each entry, if I am lucky, will prompt the next.

Beware the malformed MIMEs

Fri, 08 Dec 2006 06:26:01 GMT

http://www.quantenblog.net/security/virus-scanner-bypass

bad week

Sat, 10 Sep 2005 21:00:19 GMT

I think it was Tuesday I was so depressed and emotional I pulled someone aside at work to pray with. I don't do things like that.

Wednesday I had to deal with work crisis. I had to go back on site and wasn't done until after 1:00 AM. The next morning I was awakened by more crisis.

Also on Wednesday my cat's health took a sudden turn for the worse. He has been a surrogate child for over fifteen years and I am very attached to him. He was my baby.

Thursday I had more crisis to deal with. I had to yell at a couple vendors and that is always hard for me. (Why do some people not do what they promise to do unless you make it painful to break their promises?) I was able to get my kitty to the vet around 4:00 and we were there until 6:30.

I brought him home but by 9:00 he wasn't even able to walk OK. At the time I thought it was a reaction to the Valium I gave him.

I spent the night with him. Napping a little then cuddling and trying to comfort him. It was rough. He still wanted to eat and drink but he wasn't able to walk very well. He would go a few steps then collapse.

Friday morning I had him put to sleep. I have had human deaths effect me far less. In fact only the death of one grandmother was worse than this.

I'm more or less OK as long as I don't try to talk about it.

Dan

Happy Pi day!!!

Tue, 15 Mar 2005 05:41:27 GMT

I didn't even notice.

Dan

Self starting

Thu, 08 Jul 2004 19:53:43 GMT

For the last few weeks I have been constantly overwhelmed with work.

For the last half hour I have nothing new demanded of me and have had no tasks that I could move forward on. I was paralyzed. I've totally lost the ability to schedule my own life.

Fortunately (?) while I was typing this I got three phone calls. Back to the grind...

Dan

tease

Fri, 11 Jun 2004 22:10:24 GMT

do you ever read your spam? i get about 1600 a day. every few days i go through my quarantine and scan for false positives.

today i found one offering "pay les for Windows 98 galvanometer" i was disappointed to find they are just selling pirated software. i would buy a windows 98 galvanometer. it sounds cool.

dan

Having nothing to say I shall say it

Sun, 30 May 2004 07:13:14 GMT

What do you write when you have absolutely nothing worth saying but feel like expressing yourself?

I suppose a narrative will have to do.

I had a miserable week. In a way it was nice since it reminded me that a year ago my life was like this or worse all the time. Reality checks are always good. But it was no fun to live through.

This evening OTOH was wonderful. I went contra dancing and enjoyed myself thoroughly. I hope to make this a regular thing. I got a call from a friend who I haven't heard from in a while and was able to let him vent about his week. I always feel good when I have helped people. Now I am sitting on the couch and listening to what is, I think, my favorite CD.

Sometimes life is so good you have to share it.

Why Custard

Wed, 25 Feb 2004 19:19:08 GMT

Finally I will write the one entry that I have planned all along. Why Custard.

The name is from the poem

THE TALE OF CUSTARD THE DRAGON
By Ogden Nash

Copyright Linell Nash Smith and Isabel Nash Eberstadt

Belinda lived in a little white house,
With a little black kitten and a little gray mouse,
And a little yellow dog and a little red wagon,
And a realio, trulio, little pet dragon.

Now the name of the little black kitten was Ink,
And the little gray mouse, she called her Blink,
And the little yellow dog was sharp as Mustard,
But the dragon was a coward, and she called him Custard.

Custard the dragon had big sharp teeth,
And spikes on top of him and scales underneath,
Mouth like a fireplace, chimney for a nose,
And realio, trulio, daggers on his toes.

Belinda was as brave as a barrel full of bears,
And Ink and Blink chased lions down the stairs,
Mustard was as brave as a tiger in a rage,
But Custard cried for a nice safe cage.

Belinda tickled him, she tickled him unmerciful,
Ink, Blink and Mustard, they rudely called him Percival,
They all sat laughing in the little red wagon
At the realio, trulio, cowardly dragon.

Belinda giggled till she shook the house,
And Blink said Week!, which is giggling for a mouse,
Ink and Mustard rudely asked his age,
When Custard cried for a nice safe cage.

Suddenly, suddenly they heard a nasty sound,
And Mustard growled, and they all looked around.
Meowch! cried Ink, and Ooh! cried Belinda,
For there was a pirate, climbing in the winda.

Pistol in his left hand, pistol in his right,
And he held in his teeth a cutlass bright,
His beard was black, one leg was wood;
It was clear that the pirate meant no good.

Belinda paled, and she cried, Help! Help!
But Mustard fled with a terrified yelp,
Ink trickled down to the bottom of the household,
And little mouse Blink strategically mouseholed.

But up jumped Custard, snorting like an engine,
Clashed his tail like irons in a dungeon,
With a clatter and a clank and a jangling squirm
He went at the pirate like a robin at a worm.

The pirate gaped at Belinda's dragon,
And gulped some grog from his pocket flagon,
He fired two bullets but they didn't hit,
And Custard gobbled him, every bit.

Belinda embraced him, Mustard licked him,
No one mourned for his pirate victim
Ink and Blink in glee did gyrate
Around the dragon that ate the pyrate.

Belinda still lives in her little white house,
With her little black kitten and her little gray mouse,
And her little yellow dog and her little red wagon,
And her realio, trulio, little pet dragon.

Belinda is as brave as a barrel full of bears,
And Ink and Blink chase lions down the stairs,
Mustard is as brave as a tiger in a rage,
But Custard keeps crying for a nice safe cage. by Ogen Nash.

I have always been annoyed by posers. Perhaps because I was one in high school. We are always most annoyed when we see our own weaknesses in others.

Custard is the ultimate anti-poser. He meekly tolerates the abuse of his fellows. He just cries for his cage. A nice, sweet, dragon. Yet when action was required he did what was necessary. When action was no longer required he went right back to being himself. Nice

There are two responses to life threatening situations. People either run toward the danger or away from it. That seems to be a innate characteristic of a person.

In the Coast Guard I had a chance to see the different personality types in action. People seemed to divide neatly into three groups. Away-ers who know they are away-ers, away-ers who boast about their exploits, and to-ers. Away-ers who know they are away-ers had my respect. They knew themselves and didn't try to be anyone different. To-ers are who we are. We can't help ourselves. Macho away-ers drove me nuts, and got me in trouble. When in a truly life threatening situation you want to know that your teammates will be there for you. Several times I turned around to find my backup hanging back until things were safe. Once he was literally hanging back. A good 25 yards away. I was in a 9 foot inflatable with another guy doing our best not to get crushed by a 40 foot catamaran. Our backup, in the 44 foot steel rescue boat, was 25 yards away and refused to come any closer. He was scared to bring his virtually indestructible life boat into the slightest risk. Dang iron pumping, steroid inflated, macho cowardlette. He was the swaggeriest guy in the entire unit.

I have always rebelled against those people. I don't want to be noticed. I don't want accolades. I just want to live my nice little life. And it *is* a nice little life.

Then again, I like to come through in a crisis.

Dan

detestable

Wed, 25 Feb 2004 06:26:09 GMT

I had a nice talk with a pastor today. Nice in that it touched on a lot of topics that matter; so few people want to discuss things that matter. Not so nice in that it reminded me of why I dislike christians so much.

Among other things he explained to me that I am wrong to care so little about politics. He told me about how in Genesis chapters two and five G-d established government to be over the people. How G-d said "My Spirit will not contend with man forever..." and established a government over man since he was tired of dealing with us.

I think that part of my problem with other christians is that I am poorly educated. I don't listen to christian radio or read a lot of christian books. I don't even go to church very often. Mostly I read my bible and pray a lot.

When he said those things about government I believed them. That is not how I recollect the story. I remember Israel asking for Judges then Kings and getting exactly what they asked for, much to their dismay. But my recollections are vague and in the back of my mind. He is a trained and respected minister. I trust him. When I got home I read both those chapters. Neither has anything to do with government. Not a big deal. He might have misremembered the chapters. He seemed confident, but no matter. I did find in Genesis six the phrase "My Spirit will not contend with man forever" but that was about G-d's decision to cause the flood and limit the lifespan of man. He was very specific that this took place before the flood. I skimmed up to the flood but didn't find much about government.

This little bit about government was not what got to me. What got to me was the apparent hatred he had to large groups of people. Philip Yancey quotes a little girl's prayer[1]. "Please make the bad people good and the good people nice." I think the first part is a lot more doable.

He was very good at explaining how abortion is the most horrible sin possible. He had all the logic and verses down pat. It was shaky logic and the bible verses were out of context but the delivery was smooth.

The funny thing is that *I* am pro-life. The idea that it is perfectly OK to kill a child should that child be inconvenient is abhorrent to me. I wonder if pro-choice people know how closely their arguments parallel those of the Marquis de Sade and other libertines from the turn of the nineteenth century. The whole idea of sovereignty over your offspring. I understand it, but I don't like it.

We differed only in our willingness to impose our views on others. He seemed to feel it his duty to hold people to his moral hierarchy. I am distrustful of gradating evil and I have plenty of sin in my own life to deal with.

He was quite happy to rank sins and more than happy to put other people's sins at the top. I don't understand that. He actually brought up the "belief that some people have"[2] that all sin is equal. He said that is of course foolish since " the bible says "There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him:..."" That verse is in Proverbs 6

16: There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him:
17: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood,
18: a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil,
19: a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.

He is right that shedding innocent blood is in there. And I agree that an unborn child is about as innocent as it gets. I just don't see that as solid proof that G-d hates these things more than anything else. Putting idols before G-d and blaspheming the spirit are not on that list. I always thought it was just a literary device. The whole "X stuff that blah blah blah; x+1 stuff that yada yada yada" thing is used more than once.

My battery is almost dead. Time to stop rambling.

Good night.

Dan

[1] Ever notice how often it is a little girl?
[2] His term, not mine.